watch out for icebergs….

I knew it was coming, but it still took me by surprise. My husband found me in the former bedroom of our middle daughter, sitting on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, sobbing. The USS Anna Kate had hit an iceberg. This particular iceberg was shaped like a shower curtain.

Let me explain.

With our three girls in various stages of college and grad school, Robert and I have fulfilled a dream that has spanned almost 3 decades and purchased a loft in downtown Birmingham. We stumbled on the perfect property and the way it has all come together has been reassuring for such a change of lifestyle. We have been there a couple of months and are in the process of cleaning out our 5 bedroom home in order to put it on the market and pass it down to another family for them to enjoy. As happy as we are to be in our new place, cleaning out our home of the past 11 years has been emotional, not to mention daunting.

In the span of the girls’ lives, we have moved 8 times. We have done a couple of big cleanouts over the years but more often than not, the situation required a quick turnaround so everything got shoved in boxes and put on the truck. This time we knew it was time to really do the work and save only what was truly meaningful and important. We are saving things for our girls and their future families but only the things that are valuable to our family. It has been wonderful to go through everything (including more than one tub of preschool art projects) and relive the memories but it has also been wonderful to let it go. As I have said numerous times over the past few weeks, I think I saved everything my children ever breathed on! 

Our first hurdle was a yard sale. Our neighborhood has a massive multi-family sale twice a year and the timing worked out great. We got rid of an embarrassing amount of stuff and made a good bit of money. It was a success but it almost killed us both. That was a LOT of work.

The second step was meeting with our realtor and his team to talk about our house. I cannot stress how much stuff we got rid of before that meeting. Between moving things to storage and having the yard sale, we got rid of SO MUCH. In preparing for the yard sale, the house itself had gotten to be a mess. We weren’t living there anymore so it was not in order at all. Our meeting was on Friday so after the tax deadline (did I mention that I am an accountant and this was all happening during tax season – have we lost our minds or what?), I spent the next day and a half working like a dog to get everything in shape for the meeting.

Our realtor and his team are excellent. At the end of the meeting they were all assuring us that it was a great start!! START? Are you kidding me? I realized that I was looking for a lot more recognition for the work that I had put in so far but I was expecting it from people who had no idea what it looked like before we started this whole thing. Deep breaths…it’s all fine….

Cut to today. We were back at the house working on the long list of things we want to do before listing the house. It’s a daunting list but we are determined. I knew what the realtor team had told me about linens in the bathroom but I couldn’t remember what they said about the shower curtain, so I asked. What followed was a brief text exchange with several rounds of conflicting information before finally getting to the right answer. Simple enough, right? 

As the texts went back and forth I felt my frustration rising. Before I knew it, the tears began to flow. Was it REALLY about a shower curtain? Of course not. It was about the stress of moving. The emotions of selling the home we have lived in with our daughters for the past 11 years. The memories made in that home. The outside stress of busy season at work. The challenges of aging parents and the standard worries of adulthood. It was about that one day every couple of months when I feel like nothing I do or say is right. Life with chronic illness. Hormones. Work. Stress. Figuring out what’s for dinner for the millionth time. All of it bearing down on me at once. 

It was over in a flash and I was instantly better. The release was cathartic and apparently much needed. Robert and I finished our list for the day and headed home to the loft. On our drive home we talked through it and I was glad to not have all of that accumulated stress anymore. I know all too well that you can’t hold it all in but, for me, I don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s happened.

After a snack and a shower, all is again right with my world and the USS Anna Kate can sail ahead. I’m just glad our new shower has no curtain…..