part one……..

Ever since our eldest daughter was old enough to go to the 3 week session of camp all those years ago, at least one of our daughters has been out of town for Father’s Day. This year was no exception as the youngest was away for her JC summer experience. Most years we postpone our celebration until everyone is available, whether that be a few days or a few weeks. I will not lie. There has been more than once that it got pushed to the back burner only to fall completely off the stove in a simmer of summer busyness. We have not had a good old fashioned lazy summer in…in I don’t know how long. But I digress…

This year we made a plan and stuck to it. A week after the actual holiday we were able to spend the majority of a whole day together as a family celebrating Robert. We had a ball.

When our discussion of children turned serious and our dream of pregnancy finally became reality, Robert was more than a little anxious about being a father. I assured him that he had nothing to worry about and I have never been more right about anything. It has been an absolute joy to watch him blossom into the phenomenal father of our 3 daughters.

He is not perfect but he is perfect for us. He shares his true self, warts and all, with our girls and as a result he has a wonderful relationship with each of them. He is fair and understanding on a platform of high expectations. Not expectations of who he thinks they should be but expectations of what he knows they can accomplish. He is serious when warranted, comforting when needed and goofy beyond belief on occasion. His gallop is legendary. He has been, is, and will always be a non-negotiably safe space for me and for our daughters. In the current climate, I can’t imagine anything more valuable.

My brothers are great fathers. They too have wonderful relationships with their children. These three men are all very different people but, in this particular arena, they are very much the same. They were all under the wing of my dad and he set an extraordinary example.

Early in the morning on the day we celebrated Father’s Day this year, my Uncle Alan passed away. He was an exceptional father. As loving, patient and humble as they come. Hilarious without effort. He was a slow man…a slow talker, a slow walker, and he drove so slow he would have been passed by the church bus (credit for that gem goes solely to my cousin…you know who you are). Do not take that the wrong way. He may have been slow in stride but he was intellectually sharp as a knife. He was the perfect match for my two cousins and all of their cousins who love him so.

As happy as our revelry was that day, I found myself thinking of my Uncle Alan. My aunt. My cousins. I know far too well how they were feeling and what lies ahead for all of them in the days, months and years to come. How their feelings on Father’s Day would forever be altered.

That led back to thoughts of my own father. He had been at the forefront of my mind that whole week. He has been gone from this earth over 4 years but he left an indelible mark on me, on Robert, on our children, my mother, our family and on almost everyone he met. Most of my daily thoughts of Dad now bring only smiles but, on this occasion, the melancholy mist left me feeling drenched……..