Just so you’re prepared, I’m probably going to step on some toes and anger some of my readers but that’s a chance I’m going to have to take.<\/p>\n
This morning, Laura and I were sitting in the pharmacy waiting for a prescription to be filled.\u00a0 There was a mother with her two young sons sitting near us.\u00a0 The little boys were not sitting still but they were not being bad either.\u00a0 The main problem was they were sharing a chair and couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.\u00a0 Completely understandable for two boys under the age of 5.\u00a0 Honestly that’s understandable for boys of any age!\u00a0 I could tell from their mother’s expression that she had run out of patience before she got out of bed this morning.\u00a0 I can commiserate.\u00a0 We’ve all had days like that.\u00a0 Unfortunately her patience meter was not just running low, it was into negative numbers.\u00a0 When one of the boys poked the other for the fiftieth time she announced that she would “yank off this belt and tear your butt up.”\u00a0 Of course this got a reaction.\u00a0 She was neither kidding nor exaggerating.\u00a0 I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had followed through right then and there.\u00a0 The boys sat straight up and didn’t dare breathe.\u00a0 The reaction from Laura was visceral.\u00a0 She hid her face in my chest and clung to me with all of her might.\u00a0 She might not have understood the woman’s words but she understood her tone.\u00a0 Her message was loud and clear.\u00a0 It was also clear that those boys knew exactly what she meant.<\/p>\n
We had a similar experience just after moving here.\u00a0 We did not have our washer and dryer hooked up yet so I loaded up baskets of dirty clothes and headed to the laundromat with the girls.\u00a0 A woman there gave her little boy a spanking that I will never forget right there in the middle of the laundromat.\u00a0 It was horrible.\u00a0 This little boy was only about 15 months old.\u00a0 He had no idea what was happening.\u00a0 Laura had a reaction similar to the one she had this morning.\u00a0 She was truly afraid.\u00a0 Abigail and Hattie couldn’t figure out what was happening and I was without an explanation.\u00a0 I got my children out of there as fast as I could.<\/p>\n
In both cases all that was needed was a little redirection.\u00a0 The baby boy in the laundromat needed a nap.\u00a0 Or a little book or toy.\u00a0 Or a walk around the store.\u00a0\u00a0 The boys in the pharmacy needed to be separated.\u00a0 There was no need in either case to threaten or mistreat.\u00a0 I was so very sad for those boys…and for their mothers.\u00a0 I also felt like we were intruding even though we were in a public place.\u00a0 It seemed like we were watching something that no one is supposed to see…like looking at a car wreck.<\/p>\n
I have no problem with discipline.\u00a0 Sometimes we need more in our house.\u00a0 Other times I feel like I’m too hard on the girls.\u00a0 We try to find a balance.\u00a0 There are times when we’re not patient enough and one or both of us loses our temper.\u00a0 I can safely say that I’ve never had the thought to hurt my child to “teach a lesson”.\u00a0 In neither case I mentioned above was this discipline.\u00a0 This was severe punishment for minor offenses.<\/p>\n
I know that spanking was used as the fundamental method of discipline for many years.\u00a0 Some people still choose that as their primary discipline.\u00a0 We spank on the rarest of occasions and when we do it is a mild pop on the behind that is meant to send a message, not to leave a physical or emotional scar.\u00a0 I know that many people were raised differently than I was and that they have chosen to raise their children differently than we have.\u00a0 I have no issue with that.\u00a0 But harming, humiliating or terrorizing your child is never justified.\u00a0 The boy at the laundromat was legitimately afraid.\u00a0 You could see it in his little round face.<\/p>\n
This is a touchy subject but there is a solution for every situation.\u00a0 Each family is different and each dynamic requires an individual plan.\u00a0 Discipline requires consistency and patience, limits and boundaries, truth and consequences.\u00a0 It also requires love and acceptance, forgiveness and praise.\u00a0 Children have to know what they have done right as well as what they have done wrong.<\/p>\n
I try my hardest not to judge people.\u00a0 Especially those I don’t know.\u00a0 You never know what the back story might be.\u00a0\u00a0 In some occasions I cannot help myself.\u00a0 My brain sees something and immediately forms an opinion.\u00a0 It’s up to me to decipher the information and come up with a fair point of view.\u00a0 I’m sure that these little boys are not thrashed every waking hour of their lives.\u00a0 I hope they are shown love and affection.\u00a0 I do know that if my girls ever cowered in fear of me, I would be devastated.<\/p>\n
As parents, we are responsible for molding our children in thought, word and deed.\u00a0 We are supposed to support them and make them feel secure.\u00a0 It is not an easy task.\u00a0 It is endless and exhausting.\u00a0 Children have the job of making us into better parents.\u00a0 They are responsible for testing us and for pushing our boundaries until the right spot is found for the family fence.\u00a0 In return for challenging us, children teach us about unconditional love and finding happiness in the simplest of things.\u00a0 Their part of the bargain is not always easy either.\u00a0 We parents are stubborn and convinced that we are always right.\u00a0 (we’re not!)<\/p>\n
After all I have said I want to add that I don’t think my views are better than anyone else’s.\u00a0 They are just MY views.\u00a0 They do not belong to my parents, my brothers, you or my friends.\u00a0 They are just my thoughts and opinions.\u00a0 I am not trying to tell anyone how they should run their life or discipline their children.\u00a0 I am merely putting my own view of the world out there.\u00a0 That is the point of this blog.<\/p>\n
I am also not a perfect parent.\u00a0 Far from it.\u00a0 I lose my temper.\u00a0 I let things slide that should be dealt with.\u00a0 I don’t always clean up the mess I just made.\u00a0 I procrastinate.\u00a0 I don’t always put the needs of others before my own trivial wants.\u00a0 I’m human.\u00a0 So are you.<\/p>\n
I love my daughters with all of my being.\u00a0 Robert and I are so lucky to have them in our life.\u00a0 I hope that they are confident in their parents and know just how much we love them.\u00a0 After all, that is the most<\/span> important part…..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Just so you’re prepared, I’m probably going to step on some toes and anger some of my readers but that’s…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[174,176,175],"class_list":["post-315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-children","tag-discipline","tag-fear","tag-spanking"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=315"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":318,"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315\/revisions\/318"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakatedonovan.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}